A Letter

Dear Section Leader,

I thought it better to write to you than to continue to stew about some concerns I have about my child and the issue of behavior/discipline and my child's record.

I don't want you to think that I am the kind of parent who says, "Not my child."  I do understand that there have been some incidents of concern to you and the classroom teacher.  I also know my child quite well and have been very forthcoming with information in meetings with you and with her regarding my son, his past experiences in school, and this huge transition.

I see that at this point, my child has had three entries to his discipline record.  One of the entries was in reference to a fight that occurred during the first week of school between my child and another child.  The record begins saying that my child ran into the  Office saying kids were hitting him and needed to be punished.  Though both my child and the other child were required to stay in with you the next day, only my child has a note in his record about the incident. I didn't bring this up earlier because I figured it was the first week and I would see how things went from there. When someone in my section asked with whom my child had been fighting, and I told her the other child's name, she indicated that he was constantly instigating problems last year.  This made me even more confused about why my child would have three incidents in his discipline section three weeks into the school year while there is nothing at all in the other child's record.

Then we had our meeting last week.  I walked in a little late because there had been an issue with the van that comes to pick my son up.  When I sat down, I assumed the papers on the table were for the meeting so I began reading them.  One of the papers on the table was, in fact, an e-mail from you to staff.  As you can imagine, I was quite surprised to see a list of children who has exhibited behavioral problems (I don't remember exactly how you phrased it) and to see my child's name first on the list.  I was particularly disturbed to see that you indicated you would send out photographs of these children to make sure all  staff knew who they were and could keep an extra close eye on them. The way I saw it, staff members who may have never met my child would now see him as a behavior problem, watching him closely with the assumption that if a problem were to arise, he would likely have caused it. As far as I'm concerned, you might as well have posted Wanted signs around the  section.  As a teacher, even when asked to indicate which children were "behavior problems" for the following year's teacher, I never would.  I think it's problematic to indicate that any child is a problem when, in fact, another teacher might have no issues at all with the child.

I walk by lunch and recess almost every day. I've seen kids roughhouse and push.  I even watched - without my child knowing I was still there - a child shove him three times in a row.  My child didn't push him back or yell or hit.  He shrugged the kid's pushes off.  I say this not just to say that every child should be watched, but to say that my son is not a child who is looking to have problems or fight.  I worry that he will feel like he's a "bad" kid, something he's never felt before.

I am simply asking that you be fair in dealing with my child, and every child.  Though you indicated that you understand the tremendous transition my child is going through when we spoke, I don't see this understanding reflected in his now permanent record.

That said, I hope to hear from you and hear your thoughts on these issues. If you would like to meet, I'm available any time.

Thank you.