My Child's First Suspension

Hi,

Thanks for the heads up.

I spoke to my child and he had consequences at home in addition to those he will have in school because he knows he's not allowed to hit and that he has to follow instructions (re: jumping into the pool). We've talked many times about what he can do instead of hitting when he is upset with someone. In fact, last night he had a little history lesson on nonviolent protest and how many people in the course of history have endured many difficult and painful abuses and have chosen not to react violently. And we've talked about how it takes courage and strength to choose not to react violently. And we've discussed how I'd like him not to hit because it's wrong to hurt people, but that if that's not a good enough reason, he should refrain from hitting because he will suffer the consequences, even if he feels like someone else started.

I ask my son to try to solve problems himself. He can run down a verbal list of possible responses to someone who is calling him names or hitting him. (Of course, saying what he should do and actually doing it are two different things!) I tell him that if he can't find a way to solve a problem without hitting that he should go to the adult supervising him. He said there was no adult there and that there is "hardly ever" an adult around when he's changing from swimming. I know you said this was something you were looking into.

I've also gotten some greater insight into Sudan and culture re: boys and fighting from my family. They play fight with my child all the time which is frustrating for me. I was told recently, "You're not going to change all of Sudan. This is something you can't stop." They feel like play fighting with boys makes them tougher and that this toughness is an important part of being a man. And I'm guessing that they feel especially inclined to toughen him up due to his long hair and his mom's aversion to violence. Just thought this was an interesting note.

Thanks.



-----Original Message-----
Sent: Sun 9/13/2009 2:27 PM
Subject: Your child and fighting

Hi,

Your son was involved in a fight today during changing for swimming, where he hit another child 3 times with his towel. (note: The child who was hit with the towel thought another child had hit him and began fighting with the other child, in the process pulling down a curtain in the changing room.)

Both he and the other child will be on internal suspension tomorrow (out of class but doing class work)

I am meeting with the other parent at 8:30 am.

Can you co-ordinate with the secretary a mutually convenient time for us to meet?

Thanks.